Winning The Ex War
We have all found ourselves in this situation at some point in our lives. We have a relationship that ends. Then, we find ourselves constantly thinking about our ex and wishing them back. Oftentimes, the reason for the breakup was due to problems that were created by the ex. Perhaps they were unfaithful. Maybe they could not be trusted. There are a wide range of possibilities for what happened. But, the fact of the matter is, the relationship ended for a reason and it was obviously a valid reason or you would still be together.
So, you are now in a situation where you think about nothing but, your ex. You want to have them back in your life. You call them for no reason, just to hear their voice. You find silly, pointless reasons to see them. You make it very clear and obvious to them just how much you want them in your life. However, this is the absolute worst thing that you can do to yourself. You deserve better than them. You deserve to be in a relationship where you are truly cared about and a relationship that is healthy.
The first thing to do when you are trying to break the spell that your ex has over you is to keep yourself busy. Talk with your friends and let them know what is going on. Go out and spend time with your closest friends. Focus on your hobbies and thinks that you have an interest in. Spend time with your family members. Find anything that you can do to keep yourself busy and keep your mind off of your ex. This is going to make it much easier to avoid calling them. It will also lessen that desire to be with them all the time. You will soon start to realize that your life is better without them in it and is much more enjoyable.
Another important step is to avoid jumping into a new relationship right away. This is not fair to you or to the person that you start this relationship with. You need time to heal and to get over your ex.
If you jump into a new relationship right away, you are essentially using this new person to replace your ex. You still want to be with the ex though and that makes this relationship doomed to fail before it even starts. You will always be talking about your ex and constantly comparing them to this new person.
It creates a very uncomfortable, self conscious situation for the person that is stuck in the middle of your personal issues. You are treating them in a way that is completely wrong and unfair. You need to give yourself plenty of time to grieve and get over the lost relationship before you try getting into a new one.
Make a list of all of the things that your ex did to you that were wrong. Chances are you can come up with a pretty extensive list. This is a good thing for you right now. Every time that you start thinking about your ex, look at this list. It will remind you why you are no longer together. It will help clarify things and keep you from wanting to go back.
These few tips can help you avoid putting yourself into a vicious cycle where you are continually being hurt. You will be able to protect yourself and to get past the loss of a love. You will also be able to spend some time on improving yourself. This will make you a better person in relationships to come.