My Boyfriend Wants To Take A Break– What Does That Mean
The college aged daughter of a close friend of mine recently asked her mom “my boyfriend wants to take a break, what does that mean?” Her daughter was confused, heart broken and a little angry and was looking for advice.
If you’re in the same situation here are a few tips than can help you through this ‘limbo’ and allow you to come out the other side intact.
The first thing you have to face is the fact that ‘a break‘ is often code for “I don’t think I want to be with you anymore, but I’m not sure so I don’t want to completely break up with you” Which put another way means I’m a coward and a little selfish.
I know that may sound harsh but basically when someone says they want to take a break it’s all about them. Keeping their options open. And that is selfish no matter how you try to justify it.
It’s virtually impossible to take a break and work on fixing the problems in your relationship at the same time. To fix the problems there generally has to be some conversation between the two of you. That’s why a break usually isn’t about fixing a relationship but more about easing out of one.
It also often, not always, means that they’re interested in someone new but don’t want to totally end it with you until they’re sure the ‘new thing’ will work out.
If you’re boyfriend says he wants to take a break do yourself a favor, don’t cling. Don’t beg him to tell you what’s wrong or try to fix it. Whatever is going on he’s shown you that he needs time and space to figure it out. Give him space, but don’t put your life on hold while he makes up his mind.
It’s very important that you keep living your life. Go out with friends, go to movies, shopping or whatever you enjoy doing. Don’t sit around and wait for him to make up his mind whether or not he wants you. Just live.
You can also use the break as a chance to decide what you want. Do you want to stay in the relationship at all? Is it, and he, really worth it? Now is the time for some brutally honest soul searching. You might be surprised with some of the answers you come up with.
If he was getting sick of the relationship there’s a strong chance you were too, but just didn’t want to face it. This time off could be just the time you need to decide where you should go from here, with or without him.
So if the words “my boyfriend wants to take a break” have recently come out of your mouth just remember that there are two of you involved. Take this time to live your life, don’t mope around, and take some time to decide if you really want to be with him after all.