Are you involved in a serious tug-of-war with your former spouse regarding the custody of your children? Child custody battles and arrangements can have an impact on your children. Help them cope with the situation by following these tips below.
1. Explain properly your reason for going to court.
Tell your children that you and their other parent are having difficulties reaching an agreement on what is best for them, so you are seeking the help of other people to figure it out. The lawyers and the judge will try their best to determine the best arrangement for the children.
Do not pretend that nothing is going onyour children deserves to know the truth especially if it will concern them in the future. Also, avoid showing your children that you are bitter about the situation and blaming your ex-spouse in front of them. Be honest, but explain the situation in positive terms. Be careful with the words you use so that your children will become calm and comfortable about the situation.
Create a fun and comfortable setting for your children when you explain to them about the divorce and custody arrangements. You can do it in a park or in a quiet spot in your home. Make sure that you will have plenty of time discussing about the situation so that your children can ask questions and get adequate answers.
2. Prepare your child for the court hearings.
This step is important if the judge wishes to talk to your children in private or if your children are required to testify in court. Let your children know what they should expect to happen so that they wont be scared. You only need to explain that the judge wants to ask your children a few questions so that he can better understand the situation. Try to resist the urge to coach answers against your former spouse or pressure your child to answer according to what you told them because the judge can tell that right away. Just encourage your children to be honest and express what they really want to say.
3. Keep the best interests of your children in mind.
Remember, the court will decide according to the best interests of your children. For sure, you as your childrens parent want it as well. Keep that in mind because the custody hearing may get emotional and quite messy. If you are aiming for the best interests of your children and are doing it without any resentment and bitterness, the judge will take notice of and respect that. This kind of positive attitude will also give your children peace of mind, as they are spared from the tension and animosities between you and the other parent.
Your parenting skills are crucial in ensuring that your children will be able to cope with the child custody arrangements. If you calmly and sufficiently explain what is going on, prepare your child for the court hearing, and prioritize their best interests, then you and your children will be able to manage a stable custody agreement together.